Readers Write In #862: Driving in India feels like a Video Game

By Ashwin Kumar

I hail from the city of Coimbatore, which for a long time had a reputation for good drivers. And when I say “good,” I do not mean technically skilled, I mean thoughtful. Drivers who showed concern for others, who did not drive mindlessly, who saw driving as part of a shared civic responsibility. Coimbatore is known for politeness in language and that sense of politeness carried over to the roads as well. That was the Coimbatore I grew up in. But when I returned from Chennai to Coimbatore in 2019, I was shocked. What I saw on the roads was completely different. Irrational driving, reckless speeding, and a mindlessness that did not exist earlier. The narrow roads in Coimbatore made it even worse. Unfortunately, this was becoming normalized. The thoughtful, courteous driving I once associated with Coimbatore was vanishing very rapidly.

One of the most shocking things I still see on our roads is how even well-educated parents drive with the sunroof open, letting their children stand while the vehicle is moving. One sudden brake, jerk, one minor miscalculation, and that child could be fatally injured. It’s not just reckless, it’s heartbreaking to see people gamble with their children’s safety for a fleeting thrill. I know of many parents who give in to the demands of their children without awareness of the risks.

And then there are others who drive as if they are possessed by some evil spirit – completely reckless, single-minded, charging toward their destination without caring about anything or anyone else on the road. They don’t just drive fast, they drive blind to the other vehicles around them.

And then there’s this obsession: every single person wants to overtake and ride in front of the other vehicles. It’s such a stark contrast to what I saw in Europe, where cars followed one another decently, almost respectfully, without this constant need to push forward.

It really scares me sometimes, the kind of driving I see around me. It feels like a ticking time bomb – so many people on the road every day, all in a hurry, all in chaos. And yet, there’s this strange paradox: the same people who drive so rashly will suddenly rush forward with care and attention if someone falls. If only they had shown that same thoughtfulness a few seconds earlier, so many accidents could have been avoided. Imagine if everyone chose thoughtful driving from the start, our roads would be so much safer.

The other day, I was trying to cross a main road in the neighbourhood I grew up in . To my shock, I couldn’t even cross safely. There was simply no way to get across without already being an expert at the art of crossing Indian roads, anticipating vehicles from every direction. That moment made me pause. Shouldn’t there be a better way? I couldn’t see a solution in the near future, and it left me wondering how liveable will Indian cities be in the future if a tier 2 city becomes as chaotic as this.

Sometimes I think the only real hope lies in automated, self-driving cars not for convenience, but purely for the sake of safety. There is still the question of 2 wheelers.

Ok back to 2019! Here I was deeply concerned and wanting to do something about it. That was when I created DrivePolite.  The idea was to build a community of drivers who believed in courtesy, patience, and safety for people who wanted to practice polite driving. I even created a Facebook page and drafted a kind of manifesto. I even went ahead, purchased a domain (let it expire after 3 years) and printed stickers. It never really caught on. Maybe I didn’t promote it well, or maybe the word “polite” itself wasn’t appealing. In hindsight, perhaps I should have framed it differently — thoughtful driving, for instance. Politeness doesn’t always excite people; most drivers seem to prefer the thrill of dominating the road.

Last year the urge to do something returned, this time even stronger. I drafted a detailed letter of concern and related recommendations addressed to the Traffic Commissioner of Police, Coimbatore . I thought a direct appeal with concrete suggestions might create more impact than an online campaign. Just as I was about to send the letter, another friend told me, “Don’t send it yet. I shall get you his direct email id ”. That sounded like a stronger path. But unfortunately, that friend didn’t follow through and the letter never reached the Commissioner. And then, before I could pursue it further, my diagnosis took over my life and things had to be set aside. But something else very interesting happened for me this time. As life slowed down, I started creating deliberate pauses, what I call “negative moments” – spaces where I allowed myself to do nothing except the activity I was doing. Even while driving, I stopped listening to the radio or music and focussed on driving. And then something unexpected happened: I began to truly enjoy the act of driving itself. It was during my last week Pollachi drive, I came back and told my wife that I seem to enjoy the drive because I started treating it like a video game. Also started journaling my thoughts.

It was an amazing feeling, being fully present on the road. Each challenge, the unpredictable two-wheeler cutting across, the sudden pothole, the impatient driver honking from behind – stopped being a source of frustration. Because I was no longer letting myself be rushed by anything even if it was a massive town bus being a bully behind me.

I began driving at my own pace, carefully and mindfully. And that gave me a strange sense of freedom. Driving became less about going to the destination and more about experiencing the drive itself. And that’s when it struck me: driving in India really does feel like a video game.

Imagine a child given a simulator and they need to stay alert and navigate through obstacles without losing control. That’s exactly how I began to experience it. By changing my mindset, I discovered a way to enjoy it.

By doing this I had actually become a better driver. I was more mindful. I anticipated what others might do even more than earlier. I avoided unnecessary overtakes.  I discovered a cool trick, one can enjoy driving in India if they think of it like a video game and not worry about winning the game, but the goal is to stay in the game safely. The moment you think of it as a competition, where you must get ahead of someone else, the enjoyment disappears. That mindset only leads to reckless driving. So simply survive, relish, and enjoy the game.

In what looks like an unexpected meaningful coincidence (like 1 in a million), I got my theory validated in the most unexpected way by another “Thatha” who drove me today from GKNM hospital back home after my quarterly PET Scan. So I am writing this piece in that excitement.

From the very moment I booked the Red taxi ride the experience was different. He called and asked, “Are you standing at the front of the hospital? Are you ready so I can come in and pick you up?”

That small gesture struck me. And from there until the ride back home, he drove so carefully, so smoothly, that I felt almost chauffeur-driven. I was coordinating some things on the phone and  and hence didn’t talk to him. But toward the end of the ride, I realized I should have spoken earlier with him.

I complimented him on his calm driving and asked him how long he had been driving  and what difference he saw between then and now. He told me about his driving experience for 40 years, driving an Ambassador in those days, and how thoughtful people used to be, how differently they handled their vehicles.

I also asked him, “How do you drive so carefully, so nicely, when I notice the pathetic driving all around me”

He  then smiled and said, “Adhu oru sookshma ragasiyam thambi” (That’s a secret)

He explained that he treats the road like  …..wait for it ..a  Video Game!!

I couldn’t help myself – I clapped my hands sitting at the rear seat and laughed. “This is exactly what I’ve been thinking about, writing about!”

So my feeling was not just a hypothesis or a theory anymore. It had been validated by someone who has lived it –  a man who has driven for 40 years, across 4 states.

Then I started talking with him more, and he opened up about life itself. He spoke about “thani manitha olukam” (personal discipline) about how to live with humility, about life as a circle. He was truly a wise man.

At the end, I asked him for his number, hoping to stay in touch. He smiled and refused. “You may not be interested in these things later,” he said. And I did not want to press him further, paid for the ride and he was gone.

I am now more excited to have such random conversations and to continue to hear people’s stories. Life throws up such unexpected people with their world views, and one can find such gems and one in a million coincidences!